Let’s talk about setting yourself up for success in the morning. Or should I say Sex-cess.
Over the years, I’ve learned that sexual pleasure doesn’t happen on accident. I’m far more likely to experience it if I’ve got the right habits in place: habits that make me feel clean, confident, sexy and sensual.
Some of these habits are sleep hygiene basics (get six to eight hours of sleep a night, wake up at the same time every day, charge my phone outside of the bedroom), but the real magic happens when I wake up.
I'd love to help you feel yourself all day long, starting with a solid morning routine.
Breathwork in Bed
If your mind is a mess, you can pretty much kiss sexy vibes goodbye. So first thing’s first:
- 3 to 20 minutes of breathwork, to soothe your nervous system and clear your mind.
- The full 20 minutes is ideal, but if there’s not enough time, I don’t want to make myself feel bad. I can always find 3 minutes.
- I am a BIG advocate of Somatic breath work and since studies have found that a regular breathing practice is effective in fighting anxiety, depression, and stress, it’s one I try not to skip.
If you are unfamiliar with somatic breath work, start this way: Breath in through your nose (slowly) and out through your mouth. The point of somatic breath work is to FEEL. Feel what is happening in your body. Get out of your head and into your body. We are so disconnected from our bodies and we are so in our heads. If we start the morning FEELING through somatic breath work, it will set the tone for our entire day.
Meditate, Masturbate, Manifest
While you’re still in bed, it’s the perfect time for my favorite ritual of all.
- “Meditate Masturbate Manifest” is something you can try after breath work, to take advantage of your calm state.
- As you start your self-touch, be alive to each and every tiny sensation.
- Need a boost, vulva owners? I’m currently loving Just One Touch which in my opinion is the best clitoral orgasm of your life. And Main Attraction for the best g-spot orgasm.
- No matter what you use to reach orgasm, you can utilize all the nourishing chemicals you just gave yourself, like oxytocin.
- It’s what some scientists call “the love hormone.”
- What are you feeling gratitude for? And, what would you like to see more of? Use your post-O glow to manifest like you mean it.
After you’re done: keep the good vibes going and make your bed! A recent survey found that among people who made their bed each morning, 58 percent said they were productive the rest of the day. I like those odds.
Sensual Self-Care
Next: love on your body even more.
- Oral first (no, not that kind…yet). Brush teeth and use mouthwash with an all-day bad breath killer (SmartMouth is my current obsession: it uses zinc ions to eliminate bad breath for 24 hours with just two rinses a day). There’s nothing sexier than smelling good (all day long).
- Next, face time. My own skincare routine changes, but the one non-negotiable is Supergoop sunblock: I slather that stuff on.
- Onto the rest of your bod: most of us are lucky if we manage to get on lotion, but listen.... according to studies, regular oil-based self-massage results in more relaxation, stress relief, and emotional balance. Plus, you'll just feel sexier all day long. I use Hydrating Body Oil (Spray Oil that dries just like a lotion) for this step. It also have pheromones in it!
Mindful Movement
You’ve breathed. You’ve cleansed. You’ve orgasmed! Time to get the blood flowing.
- You’ll reap the mental health benefits all day long, when you work out in the morning.
- My ideal scenario is strength & conditioning, but even if it’s a half-hour walk or Yoga, I try to get up in time each day for at least a little activity. Personally, I set my alarm for 6:30am each day, and I attend my workout class at 9am.
- Don’t worry if it’s not a hardcore workout – just see what happens when you’re active each morning.
- It’s like giving yourself a shot of endorphins: feel-good chemicals that set the rest of your day up for pleasure.
Journal Your Intentions
This is a bit of extra credit, but if you can: put pen to paper, and write down your intentions for the day.
- Doing so will make you feel more in control of the day’s events, rather than your schedule controlling you.
- If your intention is sex, hell yeah!
- But maybe, your intention is to get dressed in an outfit that makes you feel sexy, to cook a healthy meal, or reach out to a friend on your lunch break. There are so many options. It is a simple way to INTENTIONALLY add more pleasure to your day.
- The key thing is to not do this journaling on your phone: use an actual notebook or old school journal. Actual writing (pen to paper) has been shown to improve memory and information retention, and help you focus on what’s actually important.
When you’ve got a morning routine that makes you feel empowered and calm, it’s sooo much easier to feel sexy during the day. You’ve dosed yourself with positive hormones, you’ve generated blood flow all over, and you’ve prioritized your PLEASURE. Time completely well spent.
Oh and one more thing - I ALWAYS drink a bottle of water FIRST THING IN THE MORNING before my coffee. HYDRATE, HYDRATE, HYDRATE.
xo, Jaimie