For the past 11 years or so, I've been asked SO MANY TIMES questions about squirting—specifically, how to do it. The fascination is understandable (many find it incredibly hot), but so is the confusion. Sexual health, particularly squirting, remains understudied, leaving us with little data from research studies. In fact, one of the most recent studies on squirting, conducted in 2013, suggested that roughly 10-54% of people with vaginas experience it. I'd say it's time for more updated research on the topic.
What we do know is that female ejaculation and squirting are real sexual phenomena—it's not urine. So let's delve into how you can experience it for yourself.
Solo Exploration My first tip for exploring squirting is to start during solo sex. You'll likely feel less pressure than trying it for the first time with a partner (although if that happens naturally, great!). Being alone allows you to pinpoint the exact spots and take the time needed to build up sensation.
Using Toys To train your body for squirting, you need to stimulate your G-spot, located a few inches inside your vagina. The G-spot, more an area than a specific "spot," is part of your internal clitoral network.
This is crucial because what's often referred to as "the clitoris" is just the external nub. It's connected to a larger organ that extends inside your body. Stimulating different parts of this network can help you squirt.
External Stimulation First While squirting often involves a G-spot orgasm, it's easier to achieve when you've stimulated the clitoris first (or simultaneously). Here are two effective options:
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External Masturbation First, Then Internal: Use a sex toy on your external clitoris to orgasm there first. This engorges your genitals, making a G-spot orgasm more achievable. Opening Act (or Twilight Mood) is a fantastic toy for this step, with powerful, rumbly vibrations that can stimulate your entire clitoral network.
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Dual Stimulation: Stimulate yourself internally and externally simultaneously. This can lead to a blended orgasm, involving both clitoral and G-spot stimulation, possibly resulting in squirting. Twilight Mood is a reliable toy for this because it can bend in half (making a "U" shape. Which means you are then getting stimulation on the clitoris while also vibrating the G-spot.
Remember to use lube generously, as it enhances the experience. And take your time, especially with penetrative steps, to insert mindfully.
Relaxation is Key It's common to feel like you need to pee during squirting. Take deep breaths as pleasure builds and allow yourself to "let go." Consciously relax your pelvic floor muscles, as many tend to tense up during orgasm. Pay attention to the fluid released; it can vary from watery to thicker and "milkier" from person to person. So when it’s all said and done, take a moment to note how it feels.
Trying it with a Partner While I recommend starting with solo exploration, squirting can also be incorporated into partner play. Here are some positions to try:
- Doggy Style: This position allows for external clitoral stimulation (using a hand or toy) while being penetrated from behind, leading to a blended orgasm.
- Missionary: Many find they can squirt in this position due to the angle for G-spot stimulation. Encourage deeper thrusts from your partner.
- On Top: Being in control of positioning and depth allows you to adjust for optimal G-spot stimulation.
Remember, everyone's experience with squirting is different, so explore, relax, and enjoy the journey of pleasure!
xo, J